Misrable

i just got back from my quick vacation to bandung..actually it even can't be called a vacation since i'm going there for one night only, to pickup my mamio..i'm quite excited indeed..going out of town..breathing new air..escaping from home for a while..haha but suddenly i found it not very fun as i thought before..it turns out being little less enjoyable..it's just not exciting anymore..i'm being very grumpy all the time..having a roller-coaster mood..and the surprising thing is i'm also not in the mood for shopping..a very rare conditions in my case since i'm usually can't resist the charms of getting the money out from my wallet (or mamio's wallet :p) to buy something even if it's not very necessary to my needs haha
i've been a very bad shopping companion for mamio, my sist and my aunt that day..i'm such a jerk..forgive me..

i don't know why i'm acting like that..i'm feeling sad and emotional..feeling empty inside..and feels like there's a big waves of sadness taking over my cheerful part aside far on the corner, locked it and throw the key to a place i can't reach it..seems like happiness is cheating on me..doing something bad behind my back..i know it's bit too much but that's what i felt back then..

so why i'm being like this when everything is actually fine? nothing's gone wrong..no specific matters that make me sad or feel all that shitty emotions..why? why? why?
i think that's the answer i can't find out for now or maybe i will never find it :(

oh God, please help me through this..